TGIF people!!! I learn something new every day.

:: THE DEFINITION OF "HIGH MAINTENANCE" ::

AS USED IN EVERYDAY SPEECH...
      1. It refers to the need for a lot of attention
         a. Required to maintain something in good order
         b. Requiring a lot of time, energy, or money
      2. Any person or thing that requires a lot of attention
         a. Cars that require a lot of work to keep running
         b. Employees that require close supervision to do their jobs
            right
         c. Significant others that require a lot of gifts or dates or
            they lose interest 
         d. The e·pit·o·me of *SS*
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"You want it your way. When things don't go according to your plan, you're not a happy camper. It's good that you're not afraid to speak up about exactly what you want, but just make sure you're not imposing your wishes on others. Also try to show some understanding in touchy situations, since you can't expect people to be perfect. Keep in mind that everyone has to compromise sometimes. So take a deep breath and go with the flow!"

Do you ever get the feeling you've made a grave mistake in attracting these kinds of people? I kick myself everyday. How can I be so naive? Go best friend! Tell it like it is! Aray! *butt sizzle*

http://despondency.temptation.com/high.html

I need to join this support group: http://www.craigslist.org/sfc/wrg/49651800.html
Yes, to all! They all apply!
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*sigh* I feel ya little bunny: http://www.madman.com.au/tism/bunny/

Funny thing..cute bunny looks like Jaelyn. I just wanna bash bunny! BASH bunny into cuteness!

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Coupons! Coupons! Coupons! *sniff* Smells like Friends & Family day.

Tx Coupon lady! Gives me a chance to increase the deficit. Boost consumer confidence! Improve the economy!

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:: CASE OF THE X ::

I decided to play detective yesterday in search of this elusive being that boggled my mind since the dawn of time. Alas! Sweet victory! Thang still hooked over her loss. Irritating! Whaddup with the nickname combo? They ain't married! Sheesh! Her life is pretty interesting..gotta give her credit for putting up such a good show *applause* Oscar! Oscar!

Maybe one day I tell hubs that I found it. No joke. This is one sick puppy. It wasn't pleasant to read how she described my pregnancy. Felt that I was of kin out of wedlock...the only reason why he married me was that I was preggers. You got that wrong sista...it was the other way around! Punk off that SHHHH! Das my kid you talking about! And she a cute-@SS! Made WITH love!

Yeh...I'll probably read more of it. Some good drama-mama. One day she'll see Cute Bunny, run home to mama and cry. All that matters is that I have what she wants...

Former co-worker goes postal, kinda. Gives *A* email thanking us for supporting and backing him up in his time of need...calling us hipocrites. How'd I know he'd get canned? I was at the meeting when they announced that. I felt bad of course, but it wasnt like he left his contact info either. Oh well...he was warned...he didn't listen. The hell with this guy.

And can someone explain to me why I separate my M&Ms into colors before systematically eating them? Someone help me!

Gluttony (gltn-) 

NOUN:
pl. glut·ton·ies

Excess in eating or drinking.

Just came back from LA for Thanksgiving. Boy, am I gluttonious! Yeh, if there'd ever be a time for you to be bulimic, it would be Thanksgiving.

Went to Mayan for the first time in years. The gang got cut from entering because the club reached capacity, therefore, couldn't get in. Bummer...I was stuck taking pictures of go-go dancers. The crowd wasn't as it used to be...they're really picky...REALLY PICKY. It's not like what it used to be where whatever was played the crowd went wild. Told hubby that he should do his old set for old times sake. He didn't listen. I think the crowd would have enjoyed a booty set. The DJ after him played his old set exactly to the bone and the crowd went wild...see lover...listen to me next time. You're known for booty!  Or...at least scout the crowd first...use your resources. Some things haven't changed..Soulmate's cousin, still a drama queen, got into an argument with his wife before he left for the club. Spoke to Soulmate's cousin (who is one of the OG DJs). Apparently, the kid I met at the wedding was Soulmate's kid...WHOA!!! Parallel worlds...kids are the same age...except he's not married. I thought the person he introduced me to was his cousin cuz they kinda looked alike. I'm still trippin' out. I'm glad he didn't turn out gay as some of my buds first thought. He would have been the first gay person I ever lusted over. I'm glad he's doing well. But what was he doing at a Pilate's class? (Das where he met her)....hmm....is it still possible he could be...

The holiday was a little bummer. My mom isn't still talking to the family. Still being stubborn, as usual. So insead of the traditional turkey, we had korean BBQ and pancit. That was for dinner though, lunch we had turkey at one of my abolished uncle's house. Joy and Carmen came to see the little one. Still the same...bachelorettes gone wild.

The biggest shopping day of the year was...chaotic! Best Buy was pure hell. So we went to Target (like the line wasn't as long). Unlike Best Buy, they did let everyone in. I tried to avoid shopping with a cart. Like my brother said, it would hold us down (). I couldn't avoid it. I bought a vaccum for no reason other than the fact that it was such a good deal. Margie bought her trash cans. We bought a bunch of CDs. Went back and forth to Best But..line was still long. Thank God for cousins to go to Best Buy for you. I should know better than to shop on this day. I worked retail for a couple years. I guess I still didn't learn my lesson. It might be the adrenaline of pushing and running people over to tisk the holiday season. Oh joy! Peace on earth...blah! Visit Che at home...coming out of her sugery. Boy, I hope that she gets major mula for her misdiagnosage.

I was bummed that I took my mom for mother-daughter spa time and she wanted to leave me and have John pick me up to go play bingo in San Manuel. Well, first, she was saying that we spent too much money on her and that I should use the certificate (it was for you, dammit, NOT ME). I told her it's good to go once in a while..that she needs to take care of herself. She prefers that guy massager at the swap meet.. EWW!! But after much coaxing (with jacuzzi and mist room) she enjoyed it and was willing to participate in future mother-daughter excursions. I'm still not over the bingo vs. a spa. That should be a given. I'm traumatized.

Traffic, traffic, traffic on the way back home. Took us 7 hours. Crazy rock chick running around her car giving life savers to other motorists. People taking walks out of their cars to see what was going on. Others had bladder deficiencies...yeh....EWWW!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYBODY! The birds are singing...the fish are fluttering...what can possible ruin this ode de song? Yeh...I could be outta work by now if it wasnt for my puny-@ss hubby. CARPOOL SUCKS!

So I talked to a semi-former coworker that I haven't talked to in such a long time *N*. I thought that she could be a really close friend (there used to be 4 of us coworkers). It was kinda nice seeing her after "all these years" but I always have mixed bitter feelings in the back of my mind. Don't get me wrong...she's nice, I love her. BUT (always seems to be a butt somewhere) she be flaky. I'm kinda bitter that I feel I'm more of a friend to her than she is to me. My other former co-worker *LY* is still my friend, we alike. She's like a little sis. I still keep in touch with her even though she lives in boon-doc SAC. The other *L* is always MIA...I saw her for 2 seconds when I visited *N*. Before then, I saw her last when I was fresh out of maternity leave (like, last year). So yeh, it seems the friendship is divided into 2 N 2. You can say *LY* and I are on the same side.

I should tell you a little bit of a history story about us 4 (as the legend goes). So, we got close when *N* was engaged. The catalyst: Christmas Party, I put my hair in an updo, *N* sees it...WANTS that hair style for her wedding, I say sure. One thing leads to another and *LY* and I are helping her with some planning (more than what her bridesmaids ever done, we'll get to that later). We didnt mind. She was nice. We did some things like go with her to her dress fittings, *LY* went with her to cake taste, going to check out the venue, other miscellaneous things.

Here's the first kicker: so you know how before the wedding you throw some kind of bachelorette party. No bridesmaid didnt want or "didn't have time" to throw one for her. I'm like "uh, that's really sad". She just wanted a simple get-together, ya know. So....*LY* and I decided that we take her to Santa Cruz for a night over and whoever wanted or could go could. Long story short...it was *N*, *LY*, and me. Can it get any jOOsier? At the hotel we were staying at, we (I dunno how) ran into *N*'s sister with the person she was cheating with (her sister is married, and also a BM)! Yeh, out all the 1984718935781357 hotels...TOTAL coincidence we stayed at the same hotel. We spent an arm and a leg for her...felt bad...she was nice.

Here's the second kicker: So, her maid-of-honor wasn't being a good role model for all MOH's to be. Why she didn't pick her younger sister (not the cheating one), I dunno *shrug* *N* was so stressed about her maid-of-honor that she demoted her to pauper bridesmaid (with our blessings). She then asked her sister to be head honcho, who said no (hurt by the fact that she didnt ask her in the first place). *L* was second (or should I say third choice MOH)...relucantly accepted the title.

Does it get any worse? So *N*'s wedding comes up. Everything is going swell. The cheating sister BM brings her lover to the wedding! You heard it...THE CHEATING SISTER BM BRINGS HER LOVER TO THE WEDDING. Yeh, life is grand. *L*, her MOH doesn't want to talk during the toast. *N*s DJ is wack..so bad that DJs almost get into a fight with one of the drunken groomsman. John aka Opus can't take the DJ anymore...him and another friend Kasper boot the DJs, take over their turns...and saves the day! Woohoo! Rumor has it that Opus and Kasper are psst...*WILD 94.9 DJS* HAha! Uh....yeh.

What did I get out of this experience. I did my first "professional" updo ever. I got paid a pooh bear beanie for my 2 hour pre-session, 2 hours that it took for me to do my intricate design, bobbi pins, hair spray, and countless hours of miscellaneous bridal tasks (remember, I'm not even a BM). I went to her surprise bridal shower. I even gave her  good presents FROM HER REGISTRY (You'll see why in a minute). I am kicking myself for the fact that the updo could have been the present, or at least part of it. But we were "friends".

It's my turn to get married the next year. I was actually engaged a month before *N*s wedding. Ahh..the wedding plans. I didn't really ask much for the planning. *LY*, of course, offers...I happily accept. *Crickets* with the other 2. Das cool with me..I wasn't really trippin. But you know what REALLY, REALLY irked me? My wedding comes up, yeh it's in LA. I understand...yeh...they missed my ceremony (it was at 12noon...they thought it was at 4pm, so they were 4 hours late to my ceremony). BUT MAN...THEY GIVE A CHIP DIP DISH (NOT IN THE REGISTRY) TO DIVIDE BETWEEN THE 3 OF THEM (*N*, *N*s husband, and *L*). I probably shouldnt complain...at least I did get something. But what makes me bitter is that I realized that I put alot of effort and thought into the friendship with her and I felt that it wasn't reciprocated back to me after the fact. The chip dish was a sign, and a symbol...representing what kind of friendship we have (or had?).

Time goes by..I've learned my lesson. Well...it took me a while though. I did attend many of their parties while zilch for attendance for mine. We did have cook-offs at their place while zilch at mine. It took me a while to accept that this is for the most part a one-sided friendship. I've learned to live with this one. She is nice, I love her...from afar. She comes by once in a while to say hello. I have to give her that. I've been more cautious of how much I give myself to others since then. A talk here...a lunch there..nothing more. I guess it's a compromise for me, a sense of acceptance. Now if only I can get dat nasty oily *SS* outta my hair...

...tune in next time...same Chat time...same Chat channel...

Today, I felt a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Well, not exactly in that region of my body. That me reminds of this one time I took a dump. My poo was so heavy that even a strong corporate bathroom flush force couldn't even budge it, so it just sat there while the water went around it (yes, I watch my poo flush away). It did eventually flushed the second time around...no worries  

I was accused one time of taking a crap that was so big that it had to be cut into pieces before it could be flushed down. First of all, I didn't eat corn. Second of all, I didn't take a crap that whole weekend. Third, you think that I could possibly be ashamed of such a juicy poo story like that? That, my friend, is an accomplishment to get something that big outta yo @ss! Props the poo-poo maker! Sorry, that ain't mine.  Any poo stories? Speak your mind!

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I thought this was cute so I had to add this (P.S...its not about poop!):

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.

As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom!

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.

"Miss Beatrice", he said. "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl. "Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground.